crooked house

The oLd: A Convenient New Gang Sign

Not Martha and her husband invented a new gang sign to signal that one is tired unfashionably early and must go straight to bed. They call it the oLd.

A Dangerous Maze: Or Lesson Number #342 In Why the Internet Is Not Safe for Children

So I've mentioned Luke's interest in mazes before, right? His fascination started with Kumon's My First Book of Mazes. Each maze in that book has been solved at least five or six times, in various shades of marker. I've been trying to find him more suitably easy mazes but most of the books I've seen are for older children. We spent half an hour sifting through a pile of them at Chapters yesterday and came away with only one  -- another from Kumon -- and that one's probably still too advanced. ( I only bought it, really, because Luke persisted in looking through the Kumon rack after both Grampa and I had given up hope. "MAMA!" he shouted while I was looking at a display of new picture books. "It's AMAZING! I kept trying and trying and I found another MAZE book!" )

So today I got the bright idea to look for mazes online. This youtube video, featuring a hamster making his way through a maze in a 3d replica of an old video game called "Monty on the Run" was a big hit. Unfortunately, it was also the reason we had the sound turned up so loud when I happened upon this maze game. I was blithely showing Luke how it was done when suddenly the face of the girl in the Exorcist, looking her very worst, filled the screen. This apparition was accompanied by an excruciatingly loud and unpleasant noise. I can't remember exactly what it was -- a shriek maybe? Some agonizing mechanical sound? Alll I know is that I screamed LOUDLY and FOR A LONG TIME and then flailed madly about with the mouse, trying to close the window. You can imagine my three-year-old child's reaction. He wailed for a full fifteen minutes, I think. We retired to the living room, to recover. After I calmed down... I mean, he calmed down, he asked me to turn the computer off. And he hasn't gone anywhere near it again today. A few hours later he brought the incident up and we both giggled about it. But I wouldn't be surprised if there are nightmares tonight. And Luke might have one, too.

Note to Self: When looking for things to do with Luke on the computer, research them WITHOUT HIM PRESENT first.

YouTube: Feist on Sesame Street

Luke's favourite singer, Feist, on Sesame Street. Via swissmiss. Hardly a day goes by here without a couple of performances to her cover of "Inside and Out."

Guerilla Street Art Suitable for Kids: Even the Bushes Have Eyes

Here's a guerilla art project you could actually do with a three-year-old. What do you suppose those are? Styrofoam balls? Check out more in the eyez series here. Via [BB Blog].

On a related note, Luke was recently sent photographer Arlene Alda's Here a Face, There a Face -- you can browse it at that link -- which features the "faces" of everyday objects.  See also this flickr group devoted to found faces. I'm particularly partial to this one.
 

The August 2008 Issue of O And Oprah's Messiah Dress

I've started buying Oprah's magazine -- I like the Books section, especially the "Books That Made a Difference" feature, where a celebrity of some kind talks about her favourite ones. And recently there have been some essays and articles by writers I admire, often surprising ones like George Saunders and Jim Shepard. Catherine Newman's been in there a number of times lately and this month features memoirs from eight writers including Elizabeth McCracken, Amy Hempel, and Jo Ann Beard, as well as some advice on writing your own from Abigail Thomas. So I'm down with Oprah. I like her. A lot. But get a load of this dress she's wearing on the cover of the August issue. It makes her look like either a science fiction princess or the Messiah. Which doesn't require much of a stretch of the imagination, actually -- I'm betting there'll be an entire new religion devoted to the woman within two hundred years of her death. It's what she should have been wearing in the photo accompanying The Onion headline Oprah Launches Own Reality.

Victorian Novels and Their Fairy Tale Themes

From Jackie Wullschlager's Inventing Wonderland: The Lives and Fantasies of Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear, J.M. Barrie, Kenneth Grahame and A.A. Milne:

Victorian novels are moulded by fairy-themes and structures. They centre on children and their passage to adulthood. They are melodramatic, governed by preposterous coincidences and supernatural events, and have wish-fulfilling endings, usually the marriage of their young hero or heroine. They are mostly moral in tone, rewarding the good, punishing the bad. Their characters often have the give-away names of allegory -- pragmatic and greedy Gradgrind and Bounderby in Hard Times, Bulstrode striding like a bull in Middlemarch, Murdstone a murderer with a heart of stone in David Copperfield.

Jane Eyre, for example, is a Victorian Cinderella, complete with ugly sisters, wicked stepmother and Prince Charming in disguise. The Mill on the Floss is The Ugly Duckling; Maggie the gawky child becomes a swan. In Dombey and Son Florence Dombey is Rapunzel, locked away to grow up alone, then released to marry her prince. Oliver Twist is every fairy-tale son who is denied his just inheritance and runs an obstacle course to prove himself worthy of his legacy. And even Middlemarch, which Virginia Woolf, looking back to the Victorians, called 'one of the few English novels written for grown-up people', has, in its story of Dorothea escaping the old ogre Casaubon to marry handsome young Ladislaw, echoes of Rapunzel with a dash of Bluebeard.

I thought this passage was striking last night when I read it in bed -- Inventing Wonderland  is absolutely fascinating reading -- but having typed it in just now, I'm thinking it's possible to find echoes of the fairy tale, strong or weak, in just about any book, from any time.

Peter Sis on Patriotic Lapels and The New Yorker's Controversial Obama Cover

Apparently early on in his campaign Senator Obama refused to wear an American flag lapel pin, saying that since 9/11 such pins had become substitutes for true patriotism.* Children's author and illustrator Peter Sis suggests that politicians could wear something like this American Eagle lapel instead:

You can view ideas from other illustrators here. Via Design Observer.

*See the first comment in response to the lapel pin post, which, for me, reinforces the idea that the controversial new New Yorker cover -- while meant to be satirical, of course -- might work less well as a satire than as an actual reflection of many Americans ' feelings about Obama. Does the image ridicule, as David Remnick insists, "...the distortions and misconceptions and prejudices about Obama" or does it seem to ridicule the man himself? I guess it depends on who's looking.

Quick Links: Flora Watching Television, Lemonade Stands, Anne Carroll Moore Vs. Stuart Little, and the Thraliana, Ancestor of the Blog

Photographer Colin Pantall's pictures of his daughter Flora are beautiful, especially the two sofa portrait series, in which she is captured watching television. I love that dreamy, mesmerized look children get when they're staring at the TV. It's probably not healthy -- but it's pretty. And quiet. Via A Cup of Jo. (In this photo Flora looks a bit like a modern Alice Liddell as The Beggar Maid.)

Also from Jo, these interviews with children selling lemonade. Years ago I read in some schmaltzy book -- maybe that one full of notes of advice from a father to his college-bound son -- that you should always stop and make a purchase at the lemonade stands of children. I try to remember to do that. It always makes the day better even if the lemonade is undrinkable. And check out Inc. Magazine's Best Lemonade Stand in America contest.

Maud points to this article in the New Yorker about first children's librarian Anne Carroll Moore's opposition to E.B. White's Stuart Little. As I've mentioned before -- Moore, who was enormously influential in children's publishing, was also opposed to much of Margaret Wise Brown's early work.

Christina Hardyment's Dream Babies mentions Hester Thrale, a woman I first encountered a few years ago in Francine Prose's The Lives of the Muses-- apparently Thrale was the muse of Samuel Johnson. According to Hardyment "[Thrale] found the time to record immensely detailed observations on her thirteen children [in her diary or Family Book] and clearly found them fascinating -- in a much more objective, guilt-free way than most parents manage today. She liked some, loathed others, and accepted their differences philosophically, all within the umbrella of her general caring." Googling Thrale in search of that Family Book (with no luck), I came across mention of her Thraliana, which is

...a collection of Hester Lynch Thrale’s thoughts, experiences and some of her verses from this period of her life. It was important because it was almost, if not quite, the first English Ana... undoubtedly modelled after the many French anas with which she was familiar, and which she extravagantly liked...

The English commonplace-book was still to be met with in Hester Thrale's day (although its vogue was already going out), but its character was distinct from the Ana, being a collection of pious or beautiful quotations, rather than anecdotes of living people and treasures of wit.

It sounds as if the Ana was a direct ancestor of the blog. Here are a few brief selections. And here is a book of extracts, compiled by Charles Hughes who, unfortunately, likes to insert himself constantly into the text. I suppose it's more a book about the Thraliana than the Thraliana itself.

More Tips For Road Trips

My good friend Madonna, I mean Cher... I mean Nela is about to embark on a 26 hour long road trip with her two sons who are both under the age of seven. After reading my tips on travelling with your kids, she sent me some of her own, uh, rather more practical ones:

1) Dehydrate the children so they have to go to the bathroom less -- this means less stops at rest areas. If they complain of thirst, give them a lollipop. No salty snacks. Pull-ups on a child of 6 are not preferred but will do in a pinch.
2) Benadryl and Dramamine are safe in small doses and often make children sleepy. Especially if you suspect your child MIGHT get allergies or car sickness.
3) Spend $50 on a power inverter for the car so that you can power up the play station and a monitor and buy a new game for the trip. Provide earphones for the children so Mommy doesn't get all suicidal from listening to SpongeBob over and over again...
4) Tom and Jerry DVDs are funny, not too violent, and entertaining for small children, and the musical score is WAY better then listening to the Wiggles or Backyardigans for 26 hours.
5) Sugar Free Red Bull for the driver. Do not exceed 10 a day or you begin to convulse.

Road Trip: And We're Back.

See that blue water in the background there? It was dyed blue. I hope they didn't use the same cleaning technique in the water park next door.

We are back from our short road trip with farmer's tans, a mountain of laundry, and pricey memories of endless rounds of mini-golf. And David seems to have hurt his back on the water slides. Next trip I think we'll focus less on being kid-friendly and more on being friendly to the adults in the car, too.

Brief discussion overheard while David was giving Luke his bath in the hotel:

LUKE: When I am a bigger boy I am going to stay overnight at Grampa's house.
DAVID (perking up): Oh yeah? You won't miss Mommy?
LUKE (confident and dismissive): Oh, no, no, no.
A short pause. Then...
DAVID: So when do you think you'll be big enough?
LUKE (cheerfully): Oh, I don't know.
DAVID: How's next weekend looking for ya?

Note the word "jump'in" in the title of this amusement park ride. I spent the entire time hoping the makers of the machines in this place were more careful about safety standards than they were about spelling and punctuation.

Quick Reading Notes

Christina Hardyment's Dream Babies: Childcare Advice from John Locke to Gina Ford is as interesting as I'd hoped it would be. Every pregnant woman should read it before she delves into the currently fashionable childcare experts -- in my opinion, nothing helps a new mother more than understanding that no one has completely figured babies out just yet and no one is likely to any time soon. I never cease to be amazed by this:

Rousseau's Emile was probably the most widely read child-rearing manual of its age, and was qualitatively different from the medical handbooks. Although it included a good deal of advice on the minutiae of baby-care, it was the fruit of theory, not of dispassionate observation. Rousseau's mother died shortly after his birth, and his father deserted him. He returned the compliment by leaving his own five illegitimate children to the tender mercies of a foundling hospital.

CAAF over at About Last Night pointed me to Zadie Smith on a new biography of Kafka in the NYRB.

And, in a rare case of advertising actually working, the ad on that page pointed me to the NYRB's collection of children's books -- I've got a few of these already and mean to make a collection of all of them for Luke.

And I must remember to keep checking back here to watch the interview with Remainder author Tom McCarthy, in which McCarthy responds to these questions (via Maud). Remainder's one of those books that stays with me -- it was well-written, had a fascinating premise and a lot of narrative drive -- but unfortunately the ending just didn't satisfy, or even seem to fit. Endings are tough.

Julia Rothman's "Home" At Rare Device

Designer Julia Rothman's work is featured in a show called "Home" at Rare Device in San Francisco. Julia is the genius behind Book By Its Cover, among many other things. Unfortunately, our short road trip this weekend is not to SF. Instead, we're going to check out a giant new mini-golf course. Yay us.

Surviving Road Trips With Your Kids

Road tripping with little kids? Just stuff them with junk food to keep them calm and occupied. (Luke, at 2, in Victoria B.C.)

Working Dad's Paul Nyhan writes about successful road-tripping with your little ones in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. I shared a few ideas with him:

"If you're going somewhere of historical or natural interest, why not watch a documentary about it in the car? Say a National Geographic special on the Grand Canyon," says Stephany Aulenback, who runs the craft and literary blog Crooked House.

Aulenback also recommends creating picture books starring your child's favorite stuffed animal. Snap digital photos of Teddy pumping gas, checking out the world's largest ball of yarn, at the steering wheel or snoozing in the back seat, and create a picture book when you return home.

Picture books, scrapbooks and journals are great road toys. For example, your kids can collect postcards, and instead of mailing the cards, they can draw pictures, notes or stories from their trip.

Or, they can mail postcards to themselves and have mail and a story waiting for them when they get home, Aulenback said.

The list of car games is as long as the highway. But, there is one recurring piece of advice.

"For keeping your sanity as well as the kids -- don't try to go too fast or too far. Stop early, stop often, welcome the unexpected. Try to slow down and see things from your kids' perspective," Aulenback says.

After all, I'm a big expert on the subject now, having successfully survived last weekend's road trip. And now that I've been quoted in a large city paper, I'm so over-confident that we're going on another short one this weekend.* It's a kind of training, of sorts, for the two week road trip we're planning to take later in the summer. Only thing is: I'm not sure if we're training Luke or if he's training us.

I mentioned a couple of neat scrapbook ideas to Paul, as well -- Wondertime has instructions for making one out of paper bags. You write and draw on the outside of the bags and put souvenirs (ticket stubs, diner placemats, etc) inside them. You could do the same thing with envelopes of any size. Martha Stewart Kids features one here.

(*I've probably totally jinxed us -- come back on Monday for a full update.)

Two Movies for Kids: In Which I Again Discuss Subjects Everyone Else Was Talking About Last Year

The movies Stardust and Nancy Drew both showed up on our OnDemand this week. As I was a huge Nancy Drew fan as a kid, I checked that one out first. I loved the retro look of the thing -- the costumes and sets were almost perfect -- and Emma Roberts was terrific as the competent and charming Nancy, even if she seemed a bit young. I always used to imagine Nancy as about 18 , but an extremely grown-up 18. Maybe sort of Meryl Streep at 18. Unfortunately, there was something off about the rest of the movie. The story was hackneyed but then, so were the stories in the books. So I think it had something to do with the direction. They should've hired David Lynch.

Seriously, though, little girls would probably enjoy this movie  but adult Nancy aficionados will be disappointed. Someone still needs to do something with Nancy Drew. No one's gotten it right yet. I think the series' mystery format nicely reflects the puzzle a preteen girl is just beginning to try to solve -- figuring out her place in the tantalizing and menacing adult world. And Nancy is the perfect model of a girl capably and confidently working it all out. She's a very comforting figure. I suppose, in a way, the series is largely about sex -- but with absolutely no sex in it. Anyway,  I'd take a pass on the movie.

But Stardust, oh! Stardust. Stardust is the new Princess Bride.  An instant classic.

Human Mirror at Improv Everywhere

Improv  Everywhere, a New York based group that "causes scenes of chaos and joy in public places," recently pulled off a great one involving a large number of twins on a subway car. I would've loved to have seen it. They posted lots of photos, and the story of how it was done, here. Check out their other performances, too. Via Design Observer.